What do UFO’s and smart blondes have in common? You keep hearing about them, but never see any.Ħ3. How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.Ħ4. Why did it take the blond a whole week to wash three basement windows? It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.Ħ5. How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.Ħ6. Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.Ħ7. How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.Ħ8. How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her. How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde? It is the one with the kickstand.ħ0. Why did the blond take his new scarf back to the store? It was too tight.ħ1. What’s the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.ħ2. Did you hear about the blond who gave his cat a bath? He still hasn’t gotten all the hair off his tongue.ħ3. Q: Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guardsħ4. The man asks, “Where did you get her?” The pig answers, “I won her at the fair.”ħ5. A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The first one said, “Look, it’s deer tracks.” The second one said, “No, it’s wolf tracks” and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.ħ6. Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. What do screen doors and blondes have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.ħ7. One yells to the other, ‘How do you get to the other side?’ħ8. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”. I got a compliment on my driving today said a blonde to her friend. How did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed? He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.Ĩ0. The other blonde replies, ‘You are on the other side!’Ĩ1. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.Ĩ2. Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunt’n peckers.Ĩ3. Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter? A: They spread for the bread.Ĩ4. Q: Why did God give blondes 2 more brain cells than horses? A: So they don’t shit in the parade.Ĩ5.
Why can’t a blonde dial 911? She can’t find the eleven.Ĩ6.
Where do you look for blonds’ obituaries? Under “Home Improvements.”Ĩ7.
#Dead blonde jokes how to#
Why did the blond quit his job as a restroom attendant? He couldn’t figure out how to refill the hand dryer.Ĩ8. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads. How does a psychic refer to a blonde? Light reading.ĩ0. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower? The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.ĩ1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house.ĩ2. How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.ĩ3. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat.”ĩ4. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: They’re both empty from the neck up.ĩ5. How can you make a blonde go on the roof? Tell her that drinks are on the house.ĩ6. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it’s mine.ĩ7. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes? Microwave them.ĩ8. How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head.ĩ9. How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.ġ00.
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